The Top Five Things You Should Never Do In The Studio

written for Earthquaker Devices

we all know how it feels. the hours sitting alone in your room hacking away at song ideas, bringing those ideas into the rehearsal space to hash it out with your bandmates, the practicing and the performing, trying it this way and that way until youre feeling like these songs are goddamn ready for the grammys! youve reached another goal in the life of a songwriter: its TIME to hit the recording studio. 

but what most people don't know is that there are a few glaring mistakes that can kill a recording session - not to mention make your engineer and producer want to never see your face again. lets be honest, you don't want your studio budget hemorrhaging out the window. most musicians don't have major label money to blow, so its important to be SMART with those studio hours.

i've compiled a list of the most common transgressions that will leave you with more enemies than friends when you finish the session.

1. DO NOT show up unprepared:

do you even know how your song goes? youve had all the free time in the world to work on this one. it should be branded into your memory. especially if you've played these songs out live already. producers and engineers have better things to do than help teach you YOUR OWN songs. are you bad at remembering things? bring a chord chart, write your lyrics out in BIG SHARPIE MARKER or type them on your phone. it'll make things go much smoother. lets talk about drums for a second. is your drummer prepared? can they play to a click? i personally won't even take a session where a drummer can't stay on the click. im not saying every song has to rigidly be played to a click. but if you wanna be on the radio, it does. if you wanna go off click on purpose, thats fine as long as your drummer KNOWS HOW to play TO the click. believe me, nobody wants to piss away hours of studio money while the engineer fixes drums in beat detective or smpte lock. in my younger years, i witnessed many sessions fail before they even got off the ground because of this very common oversight. make SURE your drummer knows what theyre doing BEFORE they enter the studio. have you practiced your vocal warm-ups? can you hit those high notes or low notes? of course, we can fix things in melodyne, but you wanna get as close as possible. what about harmonies? can you do them? do you know HOW? does anyone in your band know how? if youre a solo artist, have you practiced this before the day of the session? harmonies and percussion playing are the two things people seem to think are easy. theyre not. harmonies either come naturally to you, or they don't. a good producer can help you but only so much. tambourine, shaker, and triangle? people make fun of these things. "ok, i'll be in your band, i'll play the tambourine!" wait 'til you find out how difficult it is to actually play solid tambourine in the pocket. ask a drummer who can play on the click how difficult this is. 

2. DO NOT bother your engineer while theyre working:

engineers are the dark horses of every session. they are truly the ones who have the power to make things sound messy or slick. they are VERY hard at work over there. STOP telling them what to do. STOP bothering them while theyre fixing your messy takes. LEAVE them ALONE while theyre in the middle of creating. one of the most damaging things an artist can do is to shut down an engineer when the engineer has only had five minutes to try an idea. discuss your goals, and then LEAVE YOUR ENGINEER ALONE to get the idea DONE. editing, polishing, getting things a little tighter, making sounds shine, finding the right effects - these things TAKE TIME. communicate with your producer and engineer what you'd like, and then GO TAKE A WALK for a little while. your ear needs a break, and it'll sound so much better when you come back. the engineer really doesnt wanna hear you jabbering on and on while theyre trying to edit anyway. 

3. DO NOT pick at your takes too much:

this is my personal favorite on the list of session hates. when i was a rookie, i watched someone make a 14 song album, and right before it was about to be mixed, they decided to pick apart every single song to eventual ruin. the full album never came out cuz once you go down that road of second-guessing, you rarely come back. this artist started asking to MOVE BREATHS and add D's and T's at the ends of words. *disclaimer: one or two of these edits/fixes is completely fine and understandable. im talking about every song, multiple grievances, pick pick pick picking at their takes. this all circles back to point #1, which is coming in PREPARED. but mostly, this is a control issue. did you not choose a producer you trust? are they telling you that vocal take is STELLAR? then LEAVE IT ALONE. if your team is highly acclaimed and successful, you need to trust that THEY won't put something out with THEIR name on it that sucks. STOP picking on yourself. really just stop it. 

4. DO NOT over caffeinate:

this one used to be called 'partying too hard' but its so uncool to do drugs or even drink anymore that i rarely see it in the studio. long gone are the days of cocaine and jack daniels in the booth. although i do have some killer stories about the 1980s and people throwing up all over the console. thats for another article. but now we're here to work, and the kids are alright. sessions are mostly run on espresso and energy drinks these days. which brings me to the issue with these substances: red bull is excellent to get hyped up on but are you screaming a stupid story into the back of your engineer's head "ONE TIME...AT BAND CAMP..."

read the room. is everyone else YELLING while the engineer is listening closely to your vocal takes? that means you most likely had too much red bull. too much espresso is gonna give you a headache (great for the studio!) and make you grouchy (also excellent for the studio, especially when youre already trying to NOT pick on your takes). go easy on the caffeine. a little is super fun if everyone is on your level, but too much gets us all in a fight. 

5. DO NOT choose quantity over quality:

this is another thing that should be discussed and planned BEFORE you even hit the studio. i have people ask me all the time, "can we record and mix six songs in two days?" my answer is always "yes, YOU can. i WONT." i know i'd much rather put headphones on and have one gorgeous song wash over me in a full-spectrum sound banquet then have six songs that sound like a cassette playing out of an AM radio that just got run over by a car. take stock in your art. allow yourself some sophistication. just cuz its heavy and it rocks doesnt mean it can't be lush and colorful. just cuz your song consists of beats, and a vocal doesnt mean theres not room to tweak and deepen the track and spend time giving the vocals nuance. these songs are your legacy. you want them to live on way after youre gone. spend time crafting the best-sounding music you possibly can. have some self-esteem about how great you can sound. don't cut corners in the mix or the mastering. if your budget allows you to record, mix and master six pretty good songs or two absolutely incredible songs, always go with the latter. you will never regret that.